For so long after my post, i didnt dare look into my heart. I was afraid that your name would be written all over still. I tried to give up, I thought I was strong. I looked once again. I hoped that - - - would be there instead. But i was wrong. I saw the same holes, the same name inside those bottomless pits. I really dont know what to say. Everyday I hope that the next SMS would be from you, but I guess you forgot my number. While even though I lost my phone, I still remember your number and keyed it in. Why am i always the one giving in? You should know i dont mean what i say, but still you act as if I'm just like everyone else. I'm different, but you're special. See the difference? I think not. You never see anything. Well, maybe only when we were together. You used to see everything I tried to hide, you knew what I was thinking. You made me happy. But now? You've moved on, but I'm still here, walking behind you. How I wish you could turn back and see my tears, see that i've cried for you more than once. I'm still waiting. I don't want a lifetime of waiting, I only want you.

That really breaks my heart you know. I'm still waiting, waiting for you to notice that look in my eyes, that I need the old you. Guess nothing's gonna bring you back. I still love you, but you'll never know. I say i don't want you to know, but now I've had too much sufferings. I'm beginning to hope that you'll find out, so that we could be like the past. Am I wrong?

This was what i posted quite recently. I began to realise that I wasnt wrong. It's alright for you to find out. But what scares me is your reaction to finding out. 'Cause you're forever as cool as a cucumber. Correction ; you were not like that then. But you are now. Why? Why issit i'm forever living in the world of my old, living in our memories, while you seem to have forgotten all about me? -Don't do what I like for the sake of doing. Do it from your heart. Please, free me from this misery.